Tell me, my friends, what do you call “too much of a good thing”?
I love yoga. I love Pilates. I love teaching. I wanted to experiment teaching yoga on Pilates equipment, and since Wednesday I’d been doing that in all 7 sessions I taught. Last night I broke out a heating pad and put it on my low back. I was suffering from this dull ache that comes on when I over-exert myself. The body never lies. In plain aches it told me that I overdid the good thing. Too much of a good exercise=straining the body.
Since we came back from Cabo in January, for two months on end I’d been nursing this habit of drinking from my 50oz mug a tea of some sort. Over the two months the contents of my mug had seen changes, and over the last few weeks I’d been making a honey lemon ginger tea with goji berries for my husband and me. The virtues of this tea could not be over-exaggerated. My husband’s mug is half of my size and he finishes it every day, while mine gets finished only sporadically, and recently I’d been dumping a third to a half of it. This morning I finally reduced my size to that of his equal. Too much of a good tea=waste.
Over the last 3 days I’d been consciously trying to cut down the time I spent on writing this blog. Since I started writing it 2 &1/2 months ago, every day I’d spend a minimum of 2 hours, sometimes 5 or even 6, writing it. It’s my baby and I love it. To fit this writing into my day in a coherent way I’d been getting up at 3 or 3:30 in the morning, which meant that: 1. I consistently did not get enough sleep, and my body did not exactly appreciate that; 2. I was as good as gone by 6pm, so don’t count on me for anything after that time, kids, husband, and friends; 3. I was always running out of time in the morning to give my kids time and help them get ready for school. But to me the pros outweighed the cons. I was healing from writing. My life was making more sense to me. After a while, however, I just really got tired of not being able to spend any quality time with my husband and kids. To stay in my own world for that long every day meant that I had to vacate myself out of others’ worlds for an equal amount of time. Too much of a good blog=missing out on other, sometimes more important, things in my life.
So it is that I try to be mindful every day to balance out the different pulls. A friend sent home a loaf of heavenly lemon poppy bread, and when I bite into it I can taste the 4 cups of sugar she put into it, along with her love. This is a loaf that I can eliminate in one sitting, but each time I open the saran wrap I cut a thin slice and slice that into 4 portions, and chew them slowly. Another friend gave me dried fish, a taste that is nostalgic of what was good in my childhood, and although my kids detest the fishy smell when I eat it, I could easily put away the entire bag if don’t reign in the wild horse of desire. So I rip off small pieces of it and let the taste sit in my mouth for a long while and savor.
Yesterday I had to gather our tax stuff together, so I mulled over the spending record over the last year. Over and over again the word Lululemon appeared (shhh, don’t tell my husband). Yes, I had an addiction to workout clothing. Back in April/May of last year I became obsessed with crop tops, and because they were so cheap on Amazon I got them in every color under the sun, and justified those purchases as necessary for work. You know, I gotta look cute in my workout videos. Several months back I began to clean out my closet full of these items, and gave my 10yo many things that fit her already. The absurdity of it all that I could have accumulated so much of what I don't need and told myself lies over and over again that I must have them. Too much of good clothing=waste of money=waste of time put into making money=waste of life.
Life is an endless buffet. Most of the time we choose the same things over and over again. Sometimes we eat too much of our favorites. Sometimes eating too much of the favorites nulls the desire to try other things that could become new favorites. After we get used to eating the favorites we become blind to all the other choices. So we say, wow that buffet has so many options! It’s a great buffet! You could eat anything from it, as much as you want for just one price! Yet we limit ourselves to just the few items we know and trust. We shake our head to that new thing that just popped into the buffet stand and say, not for me. We overindulge in the things we love because we are paying this one price, and we get sick over it.
Not better, but sick. Choosing too much of what we love leads to that. Not exercising moderation leads to that. Not better, but sick.
So I remind myself today and always, do what you love LJ, but don’t be greedy. You are so far sober from your Lululemon addiction in this brand-new year, so keep up the good work.