• Lijing Cobb

The world oyster

My weekend might have just started a little earlier. Well, my kids’ weekend for sure, because of a little wintry mix. They get to sleep in. My 4 sessions have already dwindled down to 2, and it’s entirely possible that the other two might cancel for the same reason. So here I sit, starting my blog at a time when I usually finish up, having slept more than 8 hours last night and waking up at 5:45 instead of 3:30… my body clearly needs the rest, and everything in the world seems to be just working together to get me the rest I need. Coincidence?

Yesterday, my house cleaning lady finally came back for the first time after a break of almost two years since the outbreak of Covid, and when she was done I realized how much I’d missed that. No matter what I tried to do during these last two deprived years, it was not enough. I just always seemed to be playing catch up. Suffice it to say that some things are best left to the professionals. I mean, if you need some guidance in fitness, yoga, pilates, nutrition, healthy living, or literary studies for that matter, I could be your person. But maintaining a clean house? I was never trained in that (yes I insist that you must have the propensity for it and be properly educated in it, it’s such an art!), I’m still not prepared for that (alas, it’s not my art), and I think my energy is better used doing what I’m good at doing. Agreed, husband?

To think that my cleaning lady came back into my life not because I actively sought her out, but because my husband had mentioned her name to me in another context. Coincidence? I think not.

My friend and I had lunch together yesterday, and in our time together she told me a series of events in her life that happened in such a poignant yet decisive way that made me question if we are indeed predestined to live a certain life. What do we mean when we say, “it’s meant to happen that way”? Or, “we were meant for each other”? Who means it? What wills it to happen?

We watch our kids grow up to be different people and lead different lives. We ourselves, if we have biological siblings, were born to the same parents, yet we most likely grew up to find ourselves in very different situations in life as well. I dug up a whole bunch of begonias from my waning summer flower beds last year in an effort to save them through the winter, but although I gave them the same soil and care, some of them died, some of them have only greens left, and some of them are still flowering furiously. How do we explain that?

It’s nothing new or groundbreaking if I suggest here that we the people, the protagonists of our own lives, will everything to happen the way we want it to, that the world is but the mirror of our own innermost wishes. What we truly want and work for in our lives always come to pass. Think about it. And why is that?

My shallow belief that I am nevertheless adamant about is that we, and everything in this world, are all fundamentally made up of energy. What we see, hear, touch, taste, smell, and feel is all energy in an infinite number of disguises. In the human form we have a container of energy that is nevertheless connected to the rest of the world in ways that we understand, but more importantly in ways that we will never understand, and it calls for a blind trust, a faith that this connection works. People who always seem to get what they want are people who are good at channeling their energy outward to direct the energy around them to the shape and form they want it to appear. Think about all the achievements we witness in life: a figure skater cutting her dance flawlessly through space; a ballerina leaping gracefully through air to land just as effortlessly as if her body weighs nothing; a painting that draws our gaze in and tells us a whole story replete with past, present, and future; a song that transports us back to a time and place long forgotten, there to experience the memory again in all its original flavor… need I go on?

What if we were all born with a mission charged to us, and that mission is hidden inside the most secret container of our heart? What if we only get access to it if we have enough curiosity and courage, and we only succeed in our mission if we have enough faith and persevere?

What if we will ourselves into being? What if the whole world is at our disposal, to use if we like, to get us to where we want to go? To be what we want to be? To do what we want to do?

In the span of writing these few words, my work day has been confirmed to be canceled. My kids and I have just been given the gift of a day together to make memories. We are given the opportunity to make the best of this gift. My body told the story to begin with, and my energy led the way, and willed this day into existence.

Believe it or not, we choose. For 2 months I wake up at 3:30 in the morning. This morning I wake up at 5:45. Coincidence? I think not.

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